Story of the Shoes

This is what i get from www.day4death.com >>>>

When you will die: Thursday December 30, 2077, at age of 93.

Where you will die:

Nursing Home 43.10%

In Patient 33.70%

Residence 15.30%

Out Patient/ ER 4.00%

Other places 2.80%

Dead on Arrival 1.00%

Status unknown 0.00%

Place unknown 0.00%

How you will die:
Heart disease 38.20%

All other causes 19.60%

Malignant cancer 11.70%

Stroke 10.20%

Influenza and pneumonia 4.80%

Alzheimer's disease 4.30%

Lower respiratory disease 4.20%

Diabetes 2.10%

Kidney disease 1.80%

Accidents 1.80%

Blood poisoning 1.40%



Who died on December 30:

1996 - Actor, "Meatballs 4" - Jack Nance, dies at 53, murdered
1992 - 1st panda China gave US - Ling-Ling, dies at 23
1899 - Surgeon, discovered Paget's disease - James Paget, dies at 85


Shame, i'm gonna miss New Year celebration for 2078! :P
Living for another 71 years sounds terrible for me. I'd rather die young than live so old that i can't do anything by myself. Yet, I can say that coz i'm still alive, safe and sound.

I'll try to update as soon as i have more time...well i still have around 1,786,718,757 seconds left to live. I just have to use it more wisely.

Just a quick expression about some new Alcohol Bills in Thailand. Few days ago the new govt declared a bill banning all ads involving alcohol. They claimed that it's the cause of alcohol addiction. I think it's a shame coz usually alcohol ads are quite creative and funny, as they have to make something bad and immoral in Buddhist society to look cool. But other than that, no comment.

Yesterday, the govt went further by declaring anpther bill banning ppl under the age of 25 buying alcohol! The old laws has the age limit at 18. So you can see it's a big jump! I couldn't help but wonder, if they think we are conscious enough and can go for the vote then why don't they think we have enough consciousness to consume alcohol. Or maybe they're right, that's why we keep voting for wrong guys. Should change the age for voting too, shouldn't they?

Ok, that's enough. If you don't see me in a couple of days, i might be in prison. Just kidding, i'm going to spend my weekend in an island called Samet. My plan is to just lie down on the peaceful beach and do nothing. Can't wait for that! XD XD XD

Before that i'll have to go to a medical examination for visa. I'm ready for anything but blood test >_<. Hopfully it won't be so bad as i'll have to drive back and bring my dog to a clinic for vaccine too. Poor us!!!

Nope, not going to talk about the movie. I'm trying to add my weight before taking the medical exam for the student visa. Went to see the dentist and he said everything is fine and my gum should be perfectly normal in a few days. So that's like my license to eat. Thus i'm eating like crazy...XD

I also had my hair straightened today. I think it's a perfect hair-stlye for a lazy head like me as i don't have to do anything with it but combing. After that, got a call from Keng so we catched up and had ice-cream. Actually i was the only one who had ice-cream...and a chocolate fudge cake while he's just watching with amaze.(To Em, ur bro is wondering if ur blocking him on ur msn!!!)

And that's all for today. I think it's too short for a post so i'm gonna add something from yesterday here. I watched DOA! And it sux as expected. Tho i'd really enjoy it if i was a guy. The girls are sexy but that's all. First i was gonna watch a korean film called the Art of Seduction but there's no good time. It'd be just a romantic comedy but i'm pretty sure it'll be better than DOA.

My bro called and ask me to buy a bunch of daisy and give it to a girl for him. Em warned that it's gonna make my bro look like a coward...so i think i'll do it.

Yeah i know i'm evil...hehe

Yeah. After staying home for 5 days in a roll, i finally went out. Went to temples with dad on Sat as he wanted me to make some merit before i leave. Well, can't complain, i'm using his money right now...Then he decided to take me to a party, in normal circumstance i'd be thankful as this means lots of fancy food. But in my current situation, i consider it a torture as i couldn't eat anything but soups...Super dad!

Sun is mom's day. She took me to her sisters' houses. Again, can't complain as my aunts always give me some money for visiting them. They even promised to give me some pocket money to Aus! I love my family!!! Then got a call from Purr saying she had free movie tickets which would be expired today. So yeah i decided to go to a cinema for a change after seeing almost all movies in my cable. We saw "Cars"! Good anime with good soundtrack! Everything in this movie is car! XD

At the cinema we saw an ads for "Movie Buffet". Meaning you can watch as many movies as you want/can for the day. The ticket costs around AUD 12 with free Coke and popcorns!!! So Purr and I thought we might try it sometimes next week. Not so many good movies are out now but it would be fun and at least i'll get a chance to see her before i leave.

I had my wisdom teeth removed this morning. It went well and I didn't feel anything during the operation. Despite that I had to wait for alomst 2 hours coz there're so many patients. The rumour that he's the best dentist in the country seems to be no shit. But right now it starts to hurt and I just can't take the pain killers often for fear that i'd be overdosed. All i can do right now is putting ice on my cheek and make it numb. And it's such an ironic that I have been recieving many calls today, when i just can't speak properly. I really hope this pain will over soon T_T

So let's leave that behind and talk about the good thing. My last weekend was totally crazy. On Sat I went to my friend's brother's wedding to help escorting the guests. It was tiring but also good to see some friends there. My friend's family are chinese so the wedding was held in chinese ceremony. Almost everybody wore red dress, including me. I recieved many compliments for my shoes, the one that Em bought for my birthday! I don't get much chances to wear them as their heels are sooo high. Not sure how many inches they are but I could be 175 cm tall when i wear them.

Woke up at 4.30 a.m. on Sun as I had to be in charge for the staff's van for the English camp in Pattaya. It's supposed to leave at 6.30 but we were late as I had expected. I didn't feel regret for being there so early coz the metting point was my high school. I didn't know how beautiful my school was when the Sun rises.

There're 10 part-time staffs, including me, and another 4 company partners. The part-time staffs were introduced to the teachers and students as Singaporeans. I added that I'm an exchange to my uni just in case i slip Thai words so i could cliam that i learn thai in the uni ( which i really did speak out some thai or accidentally responded their questions when they asked in thai---i'm just not good at this thing really). The students are mostly in secondary school and only few are in high school. They cannot speak English very well, but they're fun to play with and cute for trying to speak English with me. Some even didn't let me leave when i had to go back to Bkk early for the operation. I feel so sad...

Another good thing about the camp is that i get to know new ppl. Apart from the 3 "real" foreigners and me, the rest of the part-time staffs are the 3rd year students from Chula university, which is a bit of a competitor of my uni. They're all in the same faculty/major as me, Political science/International Affairs. And I found out that my gaydar works very well as all the boy staffs are gay...i wonder how many real men left in the world.

So much to say, but too painful to type...Gosh! i need the pain killers!

Finally went out today. Had a meeting with friends about the english camp. There are supposed to be 13 ppl at the meeting (lucky no.!), but 7 of them were still students and had exams so the meeting had been postponed from 1300 to 1700. I think leaving the house for an hour meeting is such a waste considering we're in Bkk. So i went there at 1300, for lunch and shopping. Em has given me the lists of PS2 games he wants. I decided to go to our old shop at MBK. I haven't been there for months, but strangely enough they recognized me. So either Em had been there too many times, or my face is too easy to remember. Darn, i can't commit any crime without a mask from now.

Unfortunately some games were out of stock, but they said they would order more so i'll just go and get the rest later. Here are the games u'll definitely play babe:

Samurai Warrior2
Final Fantasy 12
Shadow Hearts: From the new world
Kingdom Heart2

I also bought a MS Office cd for my laptop. When my bro bought me the lappy, the program was just released so it's a free trail version and it's just expired last month. Judging between buying it online or reinstall with a fack cd, the latter was more reasonable in price. Bill Gates must hate me for this :P

After that i was possessed by a crazy shopping spirit. Finally got a pair of red shoes. By red i mean really RED! Still don't know what kind of costum that'll go with them! Got a call from friends saying they already arrived so i took off to see them. Apparently i have been assigned more jobs as i would come back from Pattaya one day before the camp ends for my wisdom teeth execution. I also have to think of an english name as they will tell the kids at the camp that i'm an adopted child who has been raised overseas and cannot speak thai. The idea is to force the kids to speak english with me. The first name i could think of is Emily...sorry babe i have to borrow ur name :P So yeah, on Sunday i'll be called Emily! Plus i need to keep remembering the names of other staffs who i just met today..so confusing.

There're gonna be 3 farangs (aka gaijin) in this camp. Ryan and Peter from US and Gudstav from Sweden. Ryan teachs Science in a uni in Northrn Thailand. This is a very interesting case since most farangs who come to Thailand will teach english. Peter is Ryan's friend who comes here for holidays. My gaydar beeped for this guy. I might be wrong tho, but hey! half of the men in my clique are gay so my gaydar has been trained by them. Gudstav is an exchange to my uni and he seems to be very familiar with thai culture. For example, he saw that the staff van would leave Bkk at 6.00 am, he asked "is this gonna be in thai time?". I laughed with shame to that question.

Got a wedding to go tomorrow. Still don't know what to wear. I need more dress and less t-shirt!

Got a call from Aus embassy this morning. Seems like they still don't know much about what i should do as they just got the list on the same date as i did. They said there're only 2 awardees from Thailand. I feel a bit weird when i heard this. When i applied to this scholarship, there's a senior at my faculty who also applied to the ALA. We were like sworn sisters at that time as we shared infos and tips. And she's still working at my faculty as a teacher assistant so she's kinda like my spy who would call me when the teachers who i wanted references from were in the faculty. So i was hoping that she got the scholarship too. I know i should have called her and told her about the news but i'm afraid it'd be so awkward if i found out that she didn't get it.

Then this afternoon i talked to my friend and she noticed my msn personal msg (it's really similar to Em's :P)and she told me that my senior got the scholarship too. I'm sooooo happy to hear that, well not as much as when i knew i got it. So i called her and found out that she'll go to Internatinal Studies for Peace and Conflict Resolution at U. of Queensland. Brisbane again! Now i'm gonna have 3 close friends in Brisbane next year. I can see them all in one visit XD !!!

Well, it's strange that ALA chose 2 awardees whose background are so similar. Same uni, same sex (they said their judgement would base on sexual equality...or maybe they mean equity, that'd explain tho), and we both didn't choose the priority fields which are clean energy, epidemic disease and international trade.

Whatever, hopfully the visa will be issued asap!

Hurraaaaaaay!!!!!!!!

Yeah, as i've mentioned in the subject, I've got the Australian Leadership Award Scholarship!!!!! Man i'm so happy!! I was talking to Em that i wouldn't wait for this scholarship if the result didn't come out within next week and would just let my parents support me (which means i'll forsaking my pride). Then this morning i've got the email notifying that my application to ALA has been successful. My first reaction? SCREAMMMMM! Out loud! and twirl! lol i think my dad's servants must have called the police for fear that i might be attacking or something.

I had applied to 3 scholarship and i had least expectation for this one. Look at the name, it's for the leaders or future leaders! And i don't think i have enough potential right now to be a leader. I'd give the credits to my boss, who told me about this scholarship and also wrote me a reference, and Em, who helped me with everything (thank you babe! :x)

Now, here comes the collateral effect, i have to have my wisdom teeth removed asap! My uncle arranged an appointment with the doctor on 10th this month. Too soon! I need to go hunting for foods i like coz i won't be able to eat anything for at least 3 weeks(that's my old record anyway).

Oh i'm so happy!

This is the first Monday in the past 4 months that I have a chance to wake up late. And by late I mean 9.30, which is not really "late" for my record. I think my body still functions on my work clock. But i'm sure i won't have any problem going back to my old original sleeping habit..hehe

So i went to the cinema to catch up with Purr again. Seems like we're trying to make up for the time we didn't see each other. And it's her movie choice to see the Devil wears Prada since i made her put up with Death Note the day before (it's a bit hard to understand for those who don't read the manga). Well, the movie is not bad. Tho the story is something we can guess the ending. Still, i like the atmosphere of the movie, very relaxing.

After that we had 2 cakes and 2 scoopes of ice-cream!!! I found heaven in that bakery shop. Then we said goodbye coz Purr will have a test on Thurs. When i got to my car, i saw that there're 2 cars parking in front of mine. I thought what the hell, this's gonna a good exercise. So i tried to push one of them ahead, but it didn't move at all! I tried and tried and it just stood there. Cakes and ice-cream didn't help...i need real exercise!!!! Luckily there's a man walking pass and he helped me moving those cars. Phewww

Anyway, i saw there're many anime comming in the cinema this month. They're Cars, Ant Bully (not sure if i spell right), Doraemon, Dead or Alive (not an anime but it's based on a game), and HAPPY FLEET!!! penguin anime, my must-see movie of the year. YaY!!!!!!!

Woke up this morning and realized I have no job any more. I felt a bit funny about this coz i was relieved, no more responsibility! I found 2 grey hairs on my head, occupational hazard!

So I celebrated this occassion by calling Purr for catching up. Later my photographer called me that the portrait project was finished and he'd like to give it to me. So I arranged everyone to meet at a mall. Got the portrait ( for free--YaY! ), and saw Death Note with Purr!!!!! It was quite long, 3hrs i think, and there're some scenes that are not in the manga. L looked really like the boy in Ju-on, so that's a funny part. I'll have another movie date with her again on Mon. Most likely that we'll see the Devil wears Prada coz it's gonna be her choice.

I also booked a ticket to Adelaide on Nov 1st, so i'll arrive there on 2nd. Right now it's still a one-way ticket coz there's no seat available during Dec-Jan. Thinking about getting an international driving license. I remember that i reeeeally want to drive a car when i was in Adelaide last time. It's something i was inherited from my bro, cars mania.

Speaking of driving, few days ago i went to my uni and was finding somewhere to park in the parking lot. I saw a space, it was a bit tiny but i was sure that my corolla can be fit in. There's a security guard patrolling around and he's supposed to help ppl parking. But instead, he told me to move over coz he thought i'd not be able to get my car in that space. "Only men can park in this tiny space", he said. So i smiled and nodded, moved my car, then reversed into that space.

Don't mess with a feminist!

So yeah i've been busy clearing all the works before leaving the office at the end of this month, which is tomorrow! Man time flies so fast when you look back, but so slow when u expect something in the future. I've been having a good time here, not a good-fun time tho coz there're not many ppl my ages, but it gave me a lot such as money (tho not very much), experience ( very useful for my study), and references from my boss (who also helps me with applying to unis and scholarships. She'd be the first person i'll thank to to if i get the scholarship).


I had some free facial skin test at a cosmetic counter at a mall last week. And today i've got a call from this cosmetic(which i've never heard the name before coz i don't wear makeup), saying that i won a lucky draw and the price is a free facial spa course! It's funny course the test came out that my skin was fine, yet i'll get a chance to make it better??? My first thought is it's a trick to lure me into the office and make me buy some products. Oh well,my mom would love it tho, so i'll see if i can transfer the course to her.


Got the most strange dream last night. In the dream, there're snakes everywhere and it was like a doom day. But somehow it's quite enjoyable, like seeing a movie (Anaconda with no JLo). You might not believe me but i can control my dream. Somehow i would know that i'm dreaming and if it's getting to be a bad dream, i'd force myself to wake up. Or sometimes i'd think of things i like and it'd appear in my dream. But this happens only when i realize i'm dreaming tho, like being awake in my subconscious. I can't control to have a dream or not. But again, i rarely have a dream, or sleep....But after tomorrow i won't have to wake up early again! (If i can finish all my works, otherwise i cannot quit! Arggggggggg!)

Yesterday when i was driving, i saw a soldier helping a blind couple to cross the street.
The situation after the coup is fine, but there're still some soldiers patrolling.
I've seen soldiers for all my life, what attracked me was the blind couple.
Without seeing each other, how can they fall in love? Their love must be so pure coz they don't judge each other by appearance. Or they're just imagining they're dating Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie.

It also reminded me of a short movie i saw in film festival a couple of years ago. There's a blind girl who hates everybody in the world. The only one she trusted was her boyfriend, who's by herside and asking her to marry him. Then she said :"I couldn't get married like this! You might left me for another girl who is not blind one day. I'd marry you only when my eyes can see again". So they agree to put her in a waiting list for donated eyes. Not long after that, her turn came and she got an operation. On the day she opened her eyes for the first time, she saw that her boyfriend was blind. Then she said "i can't marry u, ur blind!".
The man was saddened and said "That's alright, but please take a good care of my eyes".

So the man was really blind by love while the girl just couldn't love when she's blind.

Last night there was a coup attempt and my dad had to go back to his office to look after the situation. No news from any channal, even BBC,CNN,CNBC thu my cable but other leisure programes were still working. Don't know whether to be happy or sad about this coup. Thanksin is crap, but it's such a disappointment to see the failure of democracy in thailand and i'm so worried about my dad coz he's not come back yet. Every situation reminds me of the things i learnt from class. Poor juniors of my faculty will have another issue in their comming exam.

Untill now there's not much clarity of the situation, still the same tape from last night ( or that's just becoz i stayed up all night).

Let this be a bloodless coup and God ( or any powerful thing in the world ), plz save my dad.

Accidentally linked to his MySpace and found out that he'll have a concert in Sydney on Nov 3rd!!!!!!!!
Argggggggg, i really really wanna go to this gig!!! But right now i don't even have money to buy his new album ( T_T ). Maybe it's time i should concider bout robbing a bank...hehe

Darn, that news is so exciting that other stories seems to be nothing. Only slight annoyance from my mobile. I keep forgetting that the system has been changed. Have to find some time going to a service center or go through my address book and change it by myself.

Got asked by a friend to attend a seminar on career for the students at my faculty. I wish there was a seminar like this when i was still in the faculty. Well my organization is academically respectful, but plz don't ask about my wage hehehe. Oh no!! what will i do for next month!?! Hopfully i'd get the model job and it'll pay me good. Have to see the writer again tomorrow coz he needs my pic and a brief resume to present his sponsors. Plz, no rain for tomorrow or else i'd get worse.

Darn Bkk polluted rain!

Darn, darn, darn. I'm such a terrible friend! Dee's birthday was on 16th and i planned to call her at midnight of 15th, as i've always done for years. Unfortunately i lost her mobile number in Aus. I tried to ask Nathan but he didn't reply at that time and then i totally forgot. Then Sunday morning i was listing things i have to buy to go to Aus and suddenly i realized i was one day late for her birthday already!!!!! Arghhhh, i'm terribly sorry my dear friend, i'll make it up for you next year.

It's so ironic that after i vowed to myself that i'd give more importance to my friends, Ple birthday is today, the 18th. And i didn't realize till she wrote it in her personal message, complaining why everybody forgot her birthday. Arghhhhh!!!! The awful thing is that they both in overseas and i know how lonely it is to be away from friends, eventho they (including me) are the forgetfull ones.

Happy Birthday my Friends!!!

Oh well, i think i should write down some remarkable things that happened to me today. Let see, on Fri the internet server at work had been down since 14.00. Since my whole work depends on the Department of Business Development website, i suddenly had nothing to do but playing PC games (which was very enjoyable tho). Most of my collegues went home right after the work hour, which is a very weird thing for Friday. I was planning to be a good employee for once by staying up till 19.00. Another reason is that i had a meeting with friends from uni and the place was close to my work, so i didn't want to wait there alone. However, now that everybody's left, why the hell should i stay?

As i had expected, i arrived early and couldn't think of anything to do but walking around the place. Right now i'm pretty sure that everyone there would recognize me if i went back ( but that won't happen for a long long time). Finally 3 friends came, actually it's 2 friends and another friend of a friend. (S)he is very nice and funny tho and (s)he also invited me to go to a gay club. Since i've been to a lesbian twice(one on purpose and was tricked by another time), so i should make it fair for the gay..hehe

According to the plan, we're supposed to go clubbing but since there's no (real) guy and my friend and i were hit on by korean tourists, we considered it's too dangerous to go. So clubbing mutated into ice-cream and cakes!!! Exactly my dream night!

Then the nightmare came, the Fri traffic. For what was worse, it rained like cats and dogs which made it more difficult to drive. So i was lost for almost two hour just because i missed one turn.

Motto of the day : Never underestimated Bkk!

Ok, so i'd been working on the same project and finally finished the first step, revealing the true nationality of the MNCs. Since our team's only focusing on the Tyre industry so it's not so much MNCs to look for, around 200 companies in total. There's one company that really amused me. First i found that it came from Malaysia, but when i skimmed through the website, it said it was founded by another German company, and when i looked in the Board of directers, half of them are Japanese!!!

Such a good example of a multinational company :P

Anyway, i have to have it approved by a senior researcher so right now i start doing the Automobile sector. Most of them are still japanese. This makes me think that maybe a FTA wouldn't be needed as thailand has so much of japanese business. Again, Japan just agreed to open the FTA negotiation with Vietnam. This could trigger the government to make JTEPA effective earlier. Ah, i wonder what's Emi-san doing right now.

The project i've been working on right now is about the Multinational Company in thailand. My task is easy, chasing after those foreign investors and see which sector are they flooding the money in. Google has been a good friend of mine and we even get closer in this project. Coz these MNCs don't usually reveal themselve so i have to find the connection between them and Thai companies. Most of the company names in my list are in thai so i have to figure it out in eng terms. There's a chinese company and i don't know what to translate it into eng (yeah, eventho i took 2 courses of chinese-- so useless), so i typed it in Thai and the result came back in the name of a Dynasty Warrior character, Zhang He! Darn, i miss that game!

I also tried putting my name in the search engine. So i just discovered that there's Mt. Sumano in Italy and a famouse mysterious Sumano temple here in thailand!!! Guess i have to visit the places once.

Love and Miss you, Emil!!!!!!

Dear Journal,

Sorry i hadn't updated you for quite a while. I've got a new project going on right now. I have to finish this one asap as i'll quit my job at the end of this month. Such a perfect month to quit, it ends on Fri so i'll be able to collect my salary and a bit of social insurance cut from my last wages. Wouldn't be much but it'll mean something, at least a sundae..hehe

Speaking of ice-cream, i just had Swensens' ice cream after i'd not have it for months. Gosh, i feel like i was a kid again. Now i have to go for a diet..oh no!

So what should i do next month? I'll have a whole month of free times. One primary thing is to take off the wisdom tooth, such a good name for nasty thing. Yeah that would make me busy for a month. And if thing goes as planned, i'll have to deal with the visa thinggy, which could take me more than a month. What else? Hmm, i also have an English camp on 8-10 Sep!!! My friend has a little business about exchange student things, but sometimes she even forms a tour group. Anyway, i have to be a staff at this camp which will be taken place in Pattaya! Can't wait to be there. I think last time i went there was also around this time of the month. I still feel a bit guilty that i didn't take Em around the city or make it more fun for him. The highlight of that trip would be the roller coster that looks so insecure that i screamed "i hate you!!!!!!!" to Em for dragging me on it.

So, my apologize babe. Let me revise my sentence : I love you!!!!!!!

Oh well, my account is running out, i'll update you later if i have free time (fingers-crossed)

So yeah, i'm having a shitty status right now.
Suddenly i'm sick of my work, my country, my family, and myself. It's not normal when you feel like crying everyday and i don't know why i have this pessimisstic thoughts.
Everything seems to be wrong for me atm, and since i don't know what's the problem, therefore i can't find any solution.

So when you don't understand urself, u can't expect anyone to understand u.
Fine, they always think i'm perfect and happy for the way i am anyway. Or if i happen to have something bothering my mind, everyone would say "think about the ppl who're in a worse situation!".
The heck! sure i'm better than them and i'm thankful for that. But that doesn't mean i cannnot make my life happier! either it doesn't mean i cannot complian.
This is my life and i wanna do it my own way, me as individual and not being compared with others.

I'll live and die once, so if u don't like, step aside, and i'll live with my pride.